I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
it glows. i had to have it.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
