remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
