i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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