I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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