I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
