the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
