oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
