There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
