Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
