If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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