Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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