I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
