Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
