Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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