i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
