I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
