We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
