Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
4 words: hood of his car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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