may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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