he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
