So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
