yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
