OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
