I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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