i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
