It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
