Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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