just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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