Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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