Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
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Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
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I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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