I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
