i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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