I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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