His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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