apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
