That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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