If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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