Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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