mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize