Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
