I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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