Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
