Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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