You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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