either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
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