took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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