I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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