dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
