He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
