Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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