We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
