We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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