I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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