White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
