Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
