Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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