Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
